somebody's.

Each time I approach a new crush,
I do so openly and earnestly.
I'm ready for amazing things.
I'm ready to learn about this person, inside and out.
I'm ready to love honestly and entirely.
Even when it's only the second date :)
It's ridiculous, but I can't help it!

Part of it is my complete infactuation with new people.
A new person is an enigma to me that I want to explore.
This person is holding the key to life!!!!
The experiences and wisdom they have!!
I am in awe and curious-wonder around new people.
They are my obsession.
I want to know everything about everyone!

Part of it is my love for love.
I'm a hopeless/hopeful romantic.
I love doing nice things for people,
people I hardly even know!
So to have someone that I can do nice things for all the time?
It's awesome!
I want to cook dinner for my boyface.
I want to give him a little backrub after work.
I want to make things and leave them around for him to discover.
Or leave notes in his pocket for him to find at random moments.
I love the feeling I have when I have a crush on someone!
I'm addicted to it!
I love the constant smile on my face and feeling like I'm dreaming.
But then there are the times when something doesn't go right.
Like when your date keeps you waiting 3 hours while he's at band practice,
And when he calls, it's just to cancel anyway.
It's hard to not be totally crushed by that.
Because I build it all up in my head to be some great thing
with some great person.
Then when reality strikes and I realize that it's probably no big deal for him,
When it means a lot to me. Too much to me.
I realize that I have to take it down a level.
And maybe those walls and gaurds should go up.
Sleep for 12 hours.
Then go make tacos with my good friends.
Best friends that pull me up when I'm down.
Friends that will hug me and say "It's his loss anyway"
Or point out that it was ". . only 1 cancelled date so don't get so upset already.".
And then I can come home.
Lay down on my bed and sigh.
The real loves of my life are my friends.
Stupid boys.